So, as 2011 is approaching, I decided to make a list of 11 things I do and 11 things I don't need in my life for 2011.
Things I DON'T need in my life for 2011:
1. Self-animosity: I mean seriously, there's one thing I think we can all use less of. I feel like I think I have good qualities and such, but I really struggle with this one. I never feel like I'm enough, I'm not sure what I'm judging myself against, but... I do. Mostly I struggle with issues about my weight. I'm not fat, I have friends who wear the same size as I do and I definitely don't think they are, and I have a waist as small as most of the girls I know who wear 2-4 pant sizes smaller than I do, but I'm not comfortable with myself. I don't even wear tank tops or shorts in the summer for goodness' sake. This is something I really need to change, because I'm sick of thinking about it.
2. Failures: I feel like I fail a lot. Mostly in the sense that I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do something as well as other people, so I give up. This kinda goes back to the weight loss thing too. Whatever the issue, I'm not a fan, I need to stop.
3. Fear: I let fear get the best of me a lot. I had a conversation with my mom about this the other day and she said she "never would have known" that I struggle with it as much as I do. Its easy for me to put on a happy face and keep going, but on the inside, fear gets the best of me, and I don't want to do it anymore.
4. Childishness: No, not the whole me liking sparkly things and ice cream, I like that about me. I mean the not checking my bank account for days on end, not picking up my room, waiting a week and a half to do laundry, etc. I'm getting married in 10 months, I need to get a hold of this.
5. Technology: Yeah, I need some (like... my camera), but I spend so much time on the internet just because I'm bored. Its a bad habit and I need to work through it.
6. Carbs: Yes. I need less carbs hah. After the holiday parties are over I'm going to try to cut out most carbs.
7. Stress: Everyone needs less stress, but I need less self-inflicted stress. No more!!!
8. Disorganization: This one kinda goes back to the childishness one, but I sometimes feel like my disorganization (of my room, my purses, and my life in general) is waaay out of hand and its swallowing me. Don't get me wrong, I don't need to be on that hoarding show, I just get busy and the I get messy and then I get flustered and its a bad cycle.
9. Underestimating myself: I do this a LOT. This goes back to some of the other ones, but really I'm capable of so much more than I think, and I really don't take advantage of that.
10. Interruptions: I need less interruptions in my personal life, and creative life, plain and simple.
11. Approval-seeking: There are few people who's approval matter to me enough to strive for it, and I need to remember that.
Things I DO need in my life in 2011:
1. Time for myself: I'm so bad about this. I need to spend more me time, and not like me being lazy, but me thinking and taking care of myself.
2. Good health: I need to start working out everyday again and eating right, its important and sometimes I forget, but... I have a wedding dress to fit into in 10 months, I better get cracking early!
3. A happy marriage: Yay! I can't believe I get to say that! That's so exciting!!
4. Creativity: 2010 kinda sucked for that. Art is such an important part of my life, and I need it to be again. NEED.
5. Love!!: No one can ever have too much, right?? And to the right recipients, no one can ever give too much either!!
6. Magic: I was pretty good about this in 2010, but in 2011 I want to look for the magic in the everyday even more!
7. Courage: SO important. I feel like by having the courage and faith to live how I want to, so many of my things I don't need in my life will be gone.
8. New hobbies: I don't really have much time for hobbies, I used to be an avid reader but I don't ever have the time anymore, and I probably still won't have the time until the summer, but gosh how fun would it be to have a hobby like... bird-watching or... poi or something??
9. Hula hoops: Well I don't literally need more hoops in my life as I have 3 big ones and a pair of mini-twins, but I need to make it an important part in my life again. I need to pick that hoop back up!! It makes me so happy and its such a fun talent to have!
10. General awesomeness: One of my best friends has possibly the best outlook on life. She's awesome and she knows it. And not in like a pompous way, but she knows she's good at things and she knows she's pretty and she's not one to brag about it, but if you pry and ask her, she'll admit it. I think its such a great way to live, to realize just how awesome you are! I want to be like that :) (and no she's not even kind of a jerk and I have no intentions of being on either!!)
11. Memories: I don't remember what it was I was watching, but a while ago I was watching something where there was a little boy who kept asking someone to go make memories with them, and by that he meant taking pictures while they were together. I love that image. I think I did well for 2010, I have so many memories that will never go away, and I made sure I documented them (engagement, Japan, etc) but I want to do that even more this year and although this year will be special no matter what because we're getting married, I want to make sure every year after this one is memorable enough that I can go back in 30 years and say "2010, that was the year that...""In 2011 we...." "Oh! And 2012 was special because..." and have the photos to prove it!!
What sort of things do you need more or less of in your life??
Love you kitties! Have a wonderful Christmas!! I hope yours is full of love and family and God!
xoxoxoxoxo
Ash
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